Let Them Go and Watch Them Fly

Ever catch yourself shouting instructions from the sidelines while your kid stands frozen on the field, eyes darting between the ball and you? We’ve all been there.

As soccer parents, our hearts are in the right place, but sometimes our actions can clip our children’s wings before they even learn to fly.

In my experience, the transformation was remarkable. Once I stepped back and gave my son space to make his own decisions on the field, his confidence soared. He started taking risks, attempting skills he’d never tried before, and most importantly, he enjoyed the game more. That’s when I realized: my well-intentioned involvement was probably holding him back.

Soccer isn’t just about developing the perfect technique or winning trophies. It’s about growing confident, creative players who learn to think for themselves. Yet many of us unknowingly smother this growth with our well-intentioned involvement.

“I realized I was robbing my son of his own soccer experience,” admits Carlos, father of a 12-year-old. “I tried to steer my kid into playing how I expected. It all started with me and not them. I regret that. When I finally stepped back, I saw glimpses of creativity I never knew he had.”

The magic happens when we create space for our young players to make their own choices – and yes, their own mistakes. That missed pass becomes a lesson in weight and timing. The defensive error teaches positioning better than any coaching manual. These aren’t failures; they’re essential building blocks of development.

Research consistently shows that players develop better decision-making skills when allowed to work through problems independently. They become more resilient, more creative, and ultimately, more successful. The road might be bumpier, but the destination is totally worth it!

So what can you do? Start small:

• Just be their supporter
• Ask questions instead of giving answers
• Resist the urge to coach from the sidelines
• Celebrate effort and problem-solving over results
• Let them pack their own bag and take responsibility for stuff

Remember that your child’s soccer journey belongs to them, not you. Your role is to provide support, not direction. When you let go of the controls, you might just be amazed at how high they can soar.

Let them ride their own journey. And, let’s enjoy it from the sidelines!