Jealousy is a Terrible Trait For Soccer Parents
Do you ever see or hear that parent that complains about every other kid? “Tommy or Sammy doesn’t kick the ball hard and my kid does. They should get less playing time.”
JUST STOP! This will drive you crazy.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from suspicion to rage to fear to humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined.
via Psychology Today
Player insult + comment about less playing time = jealous parent
Not only will you feel the rage, but your child will too. Because of your jealousy and anger, you might say something harsh that you’ll regret.
For example, you are comparing the rest of the team with your Sammy. Sammy’s teammate, Libby, is a superstar. She gets the recognition.
During the game, you get heated because Sammy isn’t working hard but Libby is. You start comparing the two players.
In a fit of jealousy, you think that because your daughter isn’t as good as the top player, she’ll be off the team next year.
You convey this message to Sammy. This creates a hostile conversation. Sammy ends up feeling like she’s not worthy enough. She feels like her soccer career is about to end.
Little does she know or realize (because of you) that she’s one of the top players on the team.
The jealousy that you just displayed hugely affects your daughter. She becomes tentative during games. She keeps an eye on the sidelines to make sure she gets your approval.
As parents, let’s let the players work it out.
Let’s leave the emotional baggage inside us. Don’t try to push your thoughts on the other parents either. Better yet, you might want to talk to someone outside the soccer circle about your thoughts. Maybe a therapist. It’s healthy to talk to someone.
Each game, try to practice some gratitude. Look out at the field and think how awesome it is that your child is healthy enough to play soccer. Watch as they compete and smile with their teammates.
You can’t be grateful and jealous at the same time. Go try it. It doesn’t work. So, always choose to be grateful over jealous.
